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Mama’s home, vacations and childhood

Every summer vacations, our 10 days used to be reserved to visit my Mama’s home. It was perhaps the only outdoor visit we used to have in the whole year; so excitement was natural.

We would go to bus stand with mother. Then a bus, 45 minutes journey. After that, 3 kilometer journey on foot as Mama’s village was not connected to road at that time. I used to be particularly excited about those 3 kilometers on foot (My adventurous side was visible very early in life :d). One year, while we were going on foot, a known person stopped his bullock-cart and offered us to sit. He was of same village as my mother and they knew each other from childhood. So, my mother and younger sister sat on the cart. But I, 8 years old then, refused to sit. I screamed that I had waited for a full year to walk those 3 kilometers and no one can snatch my that joy. Amazed they were, it was hot afternoon of mid June. Why this kid wants to walk? Do normally kids care about this? But I was persistent, I will walk. Here I remember the understanding shown by my mother. She unboarded the cart and asked that person to move on. Had some other mother been in her place, she would have slapped me or forcefully dragged into the cart. But she respected the wish of a kid. So, we walked the distance, over the river bridge, within the forest. I know, deep inside, she also enjoyed walking those miles. Ah, it overwhelms to think that.

Mama’s house was very simple, no decorations,  electricity only few hours a day. They had no T.V. and no video games to accompany the kids. But our childhood was never dominated by technology, we didnt give a fuck to electricity.

In morning, I used to accompany my Mama on the river. He used to go there to wash the buffaloes. I didn’t know swimming. My father had strictly asked me not to swim, not even to step in water ( he was so possessive, he still is). But my mother always a bit supportive, a bit practical. She allowed me to step in the river and to learn swimming. In villages, there are no swimming pools, there is no safe 3 feet. It was a deep river, rivers are deep. So, I learnt swimming early in childhood, now I am a master in that (Thanks again to Mother).

I noticed, in my mama’s home, mother used to have an unusual liberty, unusual influence over the matters. She allowed us to climb trees, to swim, to learn bicycle. But in my Papa’s house, her wings used to vanish. She got stricter, obeying my father’s wishes. This is dilemma in life of ladies; they are always different in their own house and in husband’s house. Even after spending the whole life, Mama’s house is still her own, Papa’s house is still papa’s.

My Mami is worth a mention here. She is a fat lady, Kaamchor, she isnt very responsible and never works hard. But one thing special in her is cooking. I always made sure that she cooks for me. Her mango curry, Dal, Bharwa shimla mirch were too delicious to be explained in the words.

Then, my summers would be marked with a lot of reading. In my paternal side, no one has much hobby of reading. There were no books, no newspaper. I used to scream for newspaper, but father never started it. He said he can’t afford, I know we always could afford a newspaper. But father wasn’t interested in reading and he thought its unnecessary to have a paper for 7-8 years old kid.

But Mama’s home was a paradise. My Nana was such a reader, of vedas, ancient texts, philosophy. But at that time, I was only interested in reading newspaper and child story books. I would demand them from my Nana and he would shower me with good child stories; that was the time when I heard the name of Premchand. Premchand was favorite of my Nana Ji.

Nana died in 2009. I now curse myself, of not having done enough religious talks with him, not asking his book recommendations, not discussing his experiences with reading. But I was just a kid.

Whatever I am, by attitude, looks and hobbies, there is more influence of maternal side than paternal. That’s why I always say I am closer to my mother than father. Closer to my mama than my paternal uncles.

Its again the same May, same summers but never the same. No summer vacations, no small discoveries, no small joys. No more wandering in Mango gardens in hot afternoons when everyone was sleeping, no more running in mud fields, no more sleeping on roofs. So much has changed, for better or worse; who knows?

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Writer’s Philosophy : Heroism

Completed my 9th Hindi story. Most of them are 8-12 page fictional stories. So you can say that I am an artist, a creator, a writer. It seems good to say that I am a Writer. I am no more a person who writes in a secret diary, I publicize my work now.

For me, Writing stories is providing people with a simple entertainment within the boundaries of real life, to provide rays of hope after erasing the dark, to make them better persons, to give them slightly more control of their lives.

I tend to start my story by a problem; a real person, a common man trapped in some real life, day to day problem. And I end my story with a cheer, everything gone well. But it didnt went well itself, my Hero sacrifices something in the story. But he never fights 20 villains alone, he never changes the society totally. His sacrifices are little, for his family only. I only show how much a real person can do.

My one story of Dowry where my Hero witnesses a dowry torture in his neighborhood but he is never courageous enough to reveal it to the police. One day, that lady kills herself out of misery. Then my Hero takes a small heroic action, he registers a FIR out of his guilty. Yes, only this much Heroism is enough.

We dont have it. In our general lives, we have everything, but not the small heroism. We dont have heroism to stop a person who is staring at a girl in metro, heroism to help a needy, heroism to adopt an abandoned elderly couple. For us, Heroism is something big, done by persons of other type. For us, we are not heroes, we are common man.

That’s the illusion I want to break through my stories. I want to give small heroic actions that everyone can do. I want to revive the courage in people that they are hero of their lives.

After  that, I tend to insert changing behavior of a person within my story. I don’t want to write story for kids; Ram went to field, he played , he came back. Huh, this isnt a story for adults. They want complexity, emotional rush, twisting shades.

Hero steps out of home. He wants to go office on Motorcycle. He started motorcycle, rode away. This isnt a story, its a very common incident.

Story becomes when his mind changes. When he thinks of earth, of pollution and rides his cycle instead of Motorcycle. That’s the small sacrifice I will teach the world.  Story should not end at expected place .Hero’s mind must change within the story. His intentions should finally burst into an action, then a story becomes.

Just randomly written.

#random thoughts10906490_651143278328687_8992002307367378606_n

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Rape cases and the misery

In childhood, elder kids always face a dilemma. Their younger siblings tease them and when the elder one fights back, younger kid would start crying and eventually parents would scold the elder one. It happened all the time in my childhood and if you had a fairly younger sibling, you must have faced this.

Similar is happening with Women in our society. They are over-protected by govt. Like the younger kid, they also fall into a relation, they enjoy consensual sex and when bad time comes(break up or anything), they would sit in lap of law. They would say I was raped for 3 years, 2 years, 5 years even. WTF !!

before proceeding, let me clarify that I am among the guys who want to see women safest and most independent. When a crime happens against woman, no one is more embarrassed than me. I scold my friends for minor eve teasing. But a blind eye can’t be put to injustice happening with men in the society.

Yes, justice is blind but not the judges. In various undercover interviews, judges confess that they have to punish an innocent boy by complaint of girl. Deep within, judge knows whats the matter but he is tied with laws.

Last year a survey was done by THE HINDU in Delhi. In rape cases, 51% of cases were love turned sour. Both fell into a relation, both enjoyed but when parted for some reason, girl accused him of rape. This isnt rape, my blind justice; is this rape? how? Yes, love turns sour, people change. They might have loved you before but life is dynamic not static. And don’t girls change boy friends? can boys also register the same complaint against a girl? He can’t, no one pays him attention. He isnt considered a victim even.

Then 17% cases were under 16. Mostly school couples; they had sex but when girl’s parents discovered this, they lodged a FIR against boy. Now, even if the girl wants to protect her BF, she can’t. She isnt considered a witness as age is consent is at least 16.

In most shameless words, I would say that I have no sympathy for 68% girls above. They had a relation at their will but things went sour; they should accept it as a part of their relation, life or curse their selection of a bad partner.

Now comes the bad facts for which I am worried.

26% of cases are kids raped by their relatives/acquaints. Ya, this is very worrying news. Kids, poor kids. It is no shame to say that 65% of us have been sexually assaulted in childhoods. Even I escaped closely once, Sigh. Yes, these cases should be dealt with uttermost sincerity and big punishments should be given to guilty.

Remaining 6% are the cases where a genuine male-female rape case becomes. These persons deserve no mercy and should be punished severely to make it deterrent for future crimes.

Now, this is my gentle appeal to all the women of world to respect the law. Go for FIR for an eve teasing, groping. Go there if someone asks for a Dowry, marital rape. But please don’t spoil boy’s life by registering a case against your Ex. You are not victims always, you are not fools to let rape happen for 3 years. We are not monsters always, you don’t know how difficult life becomes after you register a FIR.

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4

Linda Goodman and Astrology

From many months, I believe on firm that Astrology is nothing but an expertise in rounding the facts and presenting them in a delicious manner. An art called Cold Reading.

For example: If I say that You are generally an extrovert person but often your introvert side comes up. You don’t have too many friends but few whom you really care and vice versa.

This sentence will hold true for 95% of people in every case.

Then I would continue saying that you never want to harm other people’s sentiments for your own success. You don’t cheat people and can be trusted.

Most of people will relate to it.

Then I can say, you have long pending dreams of falling in Love with someone but you are not impatient. You can wait for the perfect person.

Most of people will relate this too.

The thing is keeping it vague, astrologers cant give very exact points because they would mismatch. He has to give a bigger round, a bigger umbrella under which everyone can hide.

The astrologers who give you exact facts use another science. First they will say a vague term and see your reaction. If your eyes prick up, pupil dilates, he has hit it right. He will continue in that direction, studying your body language cleverly until he has hit a definite point and you do facepalm in amaze.

But Linda Goodman, is someone who presents herself in such a delicious manner and places facts so much cleverly that you will read it again and again despite everything. And I can relate to every line as such. I don’t know the Cold readings and science of prediction but it is so emotionally beautiful, its so catchy to compare our documented version vs ourselves.

After studying about Astrology and astrologers at many places, I have concluded that it is nothing but careful study of human behavior. It is nothing but years spent in neatest crafting of facts. It is nothing but most deliciously presented information which a person can’t deny at any cost.

lindagoodman-programs

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Pride and Prejudice

Well, by no means this post can be said a review of the book. This is only a gentle encouragement for persons, my friends or anyone who happens to read this; to go through the very classical english literature book Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.

Because there are many people trapped in confusion, to read this or not. Language is so difficult and indirect that many paragraphs go over the head. There are not 5 or 7 characters like in usual novels but the whole 5 families and different names which confuses the reader. So, it must be agreed by everyone that initial 60 pages of book are very tiresome.

But as the story unfolds, you find glued to the book. Particularly, the love story of Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, is not a love story of roses. Not an interaction that a usual boy and girl would have but a relation of hate and dislike. She dislikes him, everyone does for his overly pride but he is handsome and has interest in books and serious talks as she herself has.

He is ignorant and seems hardly interested but at a later time, he proves that he was attentive and brings out every minor detail of a past situation where he hardly seemed to be concerned. He doesn’t clarifies for misunderstandings on her part, only his actions speak.

What amazed me the most is a fact that it isn’t Mr. Darcy’s proud that keeps him away from interacting with new people at the ball but his social awkwardness.. he confesses this in later part of book. Out of 472 pages, I am still on 291th. Until now, love has not entered the scene. Right now, story is going through twisting confusion, interesting dislikes and lovely hate.

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The open diary, Page 2

Had put Pride and prejudice on the shelf from many years. Many times, I started reading this but could never cross 50th page; it was such difficult, it was such confusing with a number of characters.

But last week, I determined. Listening everywhere that book is pure classic with a never before story, listening everywhere that this book gives deepest analysis of human brain; I was really excited.

And now, I am in middle of an amazing story. The central girl Elizabeth, is such composed and clear minded girl. However, nothing certain can be said about Mr. Darcy whose full character is yet to be revealed ( I am in middle of the book), lets see what makes the beautiful girl fall in love with the most disagreeable man.

But in real life, this is also a truth. Most love stories happen between unlikely couples. In the begin, there is always slight uneasiness, slight dislike on both the parts. This slight dislike makes them explore the other person more and finally they get to know the better parts behind the bad skin. I will review this book once i finish.